Plant the Seed, Keep the Faith

Plant the Seed, Keep the Faith- The Good Men Project, Jennifer Cooreman

When a dream begins to unfold in your soul, be confident in your abilities to nurture its growth. The cultivation of your dreams does not depend on anyone else’s intentions or opinions of your efforts. –

There’s lots of wisdom hiding in children’s stories if you just know where to look. Fairy tales teach us to follow our intuition; if the apple is too shiny or grandma doesn’t seem like herself, follow your gut and bolt! Fables remind us to honor our unique strengths; don’t try to run your race like everyone else—sometimes, slow and steady is your best bet. Children’s tales often convey such a mighty message in a tiny package that pound for pound, page for page, they offer at least as much inspiration as any self help book (or more!), but in an easier to digest format.

The perfect example of life’s wisdom hidden within the pages of a children’s book is The Carrot Seed, by Ruth Krauss. It tells the story of a determined little boy who plants a carrot seed, then waits patiently for it to grow under the doubting and watchful eyes of his family. Day after day he waters the ground, pulls up the weeds and tends to his seed as confidently as any master gardener.

What makes The Carrot Seed so extraordinary is the brilliant and effective map it provides for following a seemingly impossible dream. In a nutshell (or, rather, in a carrot seed), Krauss’ little gardener shows us exactly how it’s done: First, plant your dream with care. Look after them, and give them everything they needs to thrive. Politely ignore naysayers, and never give up, especially if you don’t see progress right away. Growth often happens in the unseen, and waits to make its grand entrance at precisely the right moment. Nurture your dreams well and wisely, and be confident that they will bloom. One day soon, they will.

But dreams, like carrot seeds, don’t always produce results on a predictable timeline. When nothing seems to be happening above ground, many dreamers get nervous and think about throwing in the towel. Often, this happens right before their hard work and faith is about to pay off. That’s why dreamers and little gardeners must resolve to stay the course when they set out for the life of their dreams. It may take lots of faith and patience, but don’t give up on your dreams before they’ve have had a chance to take hold.

In The Carrot Seed, it appears the little boy is setting himself up for a monumental disappointment. Despite his best efforts, his seed doesn’t appear to be growing. To add insult to injury, the boy’s family hassles him on every page, reminding him his efforts are bound to fail. Even the reader starts to worry a bit about the boy’s tender heart. If this little guy’s plant doesn’t make it, his hopes will be chalked up to yet another one of life’s let downs. (Er, I mean lessons.) Welcome to reality, little dude. Might as well get used to it. Life has plenty more disappointment where that came from, and it’s got your name written all over it. Maybe you should go for a zucchini plant next time; I hear anyone can grow those.

Thankfully, The Carrot Seed isn’t a book about giving up on your dreams. It’s a story of perseverance and belief in the face of doubt. No matter how many times the boy’s mother, father and brother insist his plant is a dud, he remains polite, calm, and positive, and simply returns to his work. He carries water, pulls weeds, and cares for his little seed with a single minded patience, faith and determination befitting the Dalai Lama himself.

One of the little gardener’s secrets to success lies in his quiet confidence. When it appears his carrot isn’t growing, he doesn’t throw up his hands or move despondently on to another vegetable, head hung in defeat. He continues taking care of his carrot seed, maintaining absolute faith in himself and his work. That unshakeable confidence and determination sustain his efforts throughout the story, even if the face of others’ doubt and a seeming lack of progress on the part of his plant.

This wise little gardener also doesn’t worry about things he can’t control. We never see him scratching his bald little head, trying to predict when his carrot will be ready to pull from the ground. He’s confident in the natural order of the universe, knowing it will unfold exactly as it should; his carrot will be ready when his carrot is ready, and there’s simply nothing else to worry about.

The book comes to a triumphant close when the boy harvests a carrot so humongous he needs a wheel barrow just to haul it home. Predictably, the boy’s family is surprised. The boy, of course, is not. He knew he’d produce a Carrot For the Ages, so large it would make the Easter bunny weep with joy. And because he worked hard and believed, the universe worked its magic and produced mightily for him. He ended up with the carrot of his dreams.

The Carrot Seed will remain a best seller for as long as the world has fertile ground in which to grow real, live carrots because we’ll always live in a world full of dreamers. It will always strike a deep and resonant chord with those whose dreams have been torpedoed with helpful advice from the peanut gallery, such as: “That’s impossible!”; “No one’s ever done that.”; “You’re not smart enough/pretty enough/good enough.”; etc.

In Krauss‘ gardener, dreamers find reassurance, along with a model of persistence and patient determination. Although his family literally leans over him as he works, loudly insisting his plant is going to die and he ought to pack it up and go home, he never becomes willful, cross or bothers himself with their criticisms. He doesn’t lash out, tell them to go to hell or shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. (Imagine where that would get a young gardener. About as far as it would get anyone; meaning, not far at all.)

Instead, he remains unaffected and unperturbed and follows through with his plans. He never allows worry and doubt to enter his world. Nor does he waste time, hunched over his plant, head in hands, fretting about its future and frantically over fertilizing the ground in response to his family’s onslaught of negativity. He simply works, waits and sits back to watch the earth take care of everything he can’t. And he’s just a kid!

When a dream begins to unfold in your soul, be confident in your abilities to nurture its growth. Know there will probably be a few loudmouth critics when you set out on your grand adventure. But in the end, the cultivation of your dreams does not depend on anyone else’s intentions or opinions of your efforts. Dreams require our faith and willingness to work with everything we have, knowing all the while things will turn out exactly as they should. When we give them the luxury of time, hard work and faith, they’ll cooperate as only dreams can- miraculously, spectacularly, and against all odds.

So, if you are a dreamer in need of inspiration, look no further than Krauss’ determined gardener. Remember his gentle optimism and perseverance in the face of doubt if you find yourself feeling weary. Know with every fiber of your being that all will be well in the end. There will come a day when your patience, hard work and perseverance will pay off. But be ready—when your day of harvest arrives, your dreams will have grown so big, bold and dazzlingly beautiful, you’re definitely going to need a wheel barrow to carry them home. –

Someone I Loved Once Gave Me A Box Full of Darkness

The Risk It Takes To Blossom

What Song Will You Sing?: Moving Through Hopelessness

My sister and I didn’t fight, but if we did, I don’t remember. Lisa was eight years older, and although I was often doing something little sister-ish and annoying (like spilling nail polish on her desk or eating all her Easter candy), she never stayed angry for long. She’d let me scramble right back onto her lap for a bedtime story, or patiently brush the knots from my hair before school.

I worry, though, because my memories of her are growing hazy. Why I recall the print of her flannel nightgown, but not the last time we embraced is a mystery I hope to unravel.  Probably not in this lifetime, though.

She was asleep when I left one morning for school, before the sun and my mother rose for the day.   But she was dead by the time I came home. That, I can never forget.

Death does not owe the living an explanation, and rarely gives one that satisfies our pain. But my sister’s death left a gaping wound because it made no sense at all. She took her own beautiful life. Without warning, justification or explanation. Though I know there was nothing I would have accepted, I sometimes wonder if she might have at least tried.

My sister is gone. She believed death was the only doorway open to her, the only viable way to escape her pain.  It wasn’t.  But because she bore the burden of her shame alone, the only song she could hear was one she sang to herself.

Alone, in the darkness of her shame and self hatred, she sang, “You have failed, you are alone, and the world will not mourn your loss.”

Had she taken one step, towards one of us that loved and cared for her, we could have discerned the whispers of her tortured song.  Because she was so very wrong. Her past, present and future were not dirty, ugly or worthless.

It was the song she sang in the silence of her guilt that was ugly and led to hopelessness and bitter despair. My sister was a powerful, intelligent and valuable soul,  the way God creates us all to be. She was never beyond hope, although her thoughts fooled her just long enough for her to make a horrible mistake.

None of us are beyond hope. Hope is ingrained in who we are. We are born into hope, and live lifted by dreams and passions until our journey in this world is complete.  Hopelessness is not a cue that our journeys are complete.

When we feel hopeless, we’ve allowed the song of our sadness to drown out the grace and beauty of our futures. Hopelessness is a temporary condition that feels agonizingly real. Death, however,  is a permanent solution to that agony.

If my sister were alive today,  she would be long past her pain, living dreams she imagined for herself,  along with ones she never knew were possible.  If she were here, she would be singing others past their pain and fear because she would have conquered hers. Survivors make the best leaders and guides. They show others how to move past pain and fear because they never discount its cost, or downplay how terrifying it is to choose life over death when we are afraid our very existence does not matter.

The pain of my sister’s death made me a survivor.  When she died, I thought about taking my own life many times.  Suicide was like a disease, a cancer of the mind. In the 25 years she’s been gone,  I have been overcome by grief and fear more times than I’d like to admit. But whenever my fear  and hopelessness begin to take root, I have learned to recognize the feelings, and hear the twisted song for what it really is;  a poisonous lie, an impostor presenting itself as a viable answer to pain.

Grief and fear may insist, “Life is too difficult.  There is no way out of the mess you’ve made.  You will never be whole or happy again.”  But I have learned, over time and with help and guidance of loving mentors, friends and counselors, that fear and depression is a song that will disable me only if I allow it.

Sometimes it takes another person singing with you to guide you through your darkness.  Other times,  though, you’ll find yourself truly alone in the wilderness of your fears.  For a matter of minutes or hours,  it doesn’t matter; when you feel hopeless,  time has no meaning.  If you find yourself alone in a valley, have your song ready.  It’s one you will sing to yourself many times throughout your life, and you’ll always recognize it as the truth.

“On the other side of this dark hill is my future. When I arrive, I’ll be stronger and more capable because I did not give in to this momentary darkness.  I have dreams to nurture and people to help. My conquering soul will brighten the future.  Hope is the answer to darkness and courage the answer to fear.”

Surviving and living through pain, mistakes and trials has shaped some of the world’s most influential and valuable leaders, teachers and souls.  I’d rather be scarred by pain and live to tell a tale that will help others in their journey than give in to the wilds of my own doubts.

Thoughts of death and suicide don’t scare me.  Acting on them does. I’ve had them,  lived them and been shaped by the pain and desolation they leave behind when they are chosen over life.  When relationships end, children die, addictions resurface, families splinter, money dwindles and hope flies away,  thoughts of death flicker to the surface like poison. But I know suicide and suicide knows me. I’ve thought of it, stared at it, questioned it and raged in its face.

Suicide is never a valid answer to the temporary condition of hopelessness. There is no hill we can not climb or valley we can’t walk through.  Others who’ve lived through fires so hot their lives should never have risen from the ashes will be our guides.  Their strength in rising will show us the way.

You are important.  You were created to feel and love. Living can be unbearably painful.  But as we conquer our pain and choose to live, we grow.  That is what we are created to do; we gather strength from those around us, then return with more strength to offer those who are walking through their time of fire.

No matter what hopelessness breeds inside your silence, there is always love.  People who love you are surrounding you, waiting for you to take a step towards them.  Waiting to sing a new song.

What song will you sing to find hope? What will you sing when you’ve climbed beyond your fears? Remember the words, and teach them to others.

What Song Will You Sing?: Moving Through Hopelessness

Here’s to the Walking Wounded – Jim Palmer

Here’s to all the walking wounded… by Jim Palmer

to those still carrying a little heartbroken boy or girl inside;
to those who feel rejected and lonely;
to those who woke up with a dull ache inside;
to those who are wondering where God is in the midst of their deep pain;
to those whose past wounds have been pulled opened yet again;
to those weary and worn out, and long for some place called home;
to those in the darkness who can’t seem to find the light;
to those who wonder if they will ever find love;
to those who feel misunderstood;
to the abandoned and discarded;
to those who feel they are running out of reasons to get out of bed each morning;
to those in the clutches of depression;
to those who are smiling on the outside but dying on the inside;
to those suffering in silence,
to those for whom the Christmas holiday makes everything worse…

You are not alone. You are not forgotten. We are all in this together. Somebody cares. One of them is me.

 

 

Be Kind

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Plato

Like Jesus, Plato recognized that human beings deserve love, kindness and assistance. They don’t deserve admonishment, judgement and derision. On the outside, people may seem the picture of composure, when in actuality there are storms of grief and self doubt raging in their souls.

For others living with more obvious challenges (such as the homeless or those struggling with addiction), we must guard against  automatic assumptions that prevent us from extending a helping hand. It isn’t fair to assume hurting or homeless people are lazy, inherently bad or shiftless.

Remember the disproportionate number of veterans with PTSD who are homeless. Do they deserve our scorn after they’ve given their lives to protect our country? They may be on the streets because they’re battling demons the VA can’t or won’t help them with. The stories behind each and every personal struggle would break our hearts. Take the time to look someone who is down on their luck in the eye. Treat them with dignity, and remind them that they are not invisible. That they matter. You never know what that simple, loving gesture can accomplish.

God did not call us to judge the poor and needy, but to extend love and assistance. Perhaps treating someone like a human being will be the spark that gives them hope, and launches them on a path to recovery. Isn’t that worth a few of your dollars?

Hope, kindness of spirit and graciousness are easy to share and display to our friends and loved ones. They are  more difficult to bestow upon strangers. But God doesn’t call us to give when it’s easy. He calls us to give when it’s necessary.

So don’t walk past that person asking for food, money or shelter without giving them a second thought. That stranger was someone’s baby, and somewhere, God is watching, hoping His hands and feet will do the right thing and care for his child who is  knocking persistently at the doors of our hardened hearts.

Melissa Tapper Goldman and DoTell

Thank you for allowing me to share my sister’s story on DoTell.  It’s an amazing and safe place for women to share their stories and find true healing.

On Shame at The Attentive Soul | DO TELL

We ALL screw up. What we need are people who don’t give up.

Had to share this post by Jim Palmer.  The upshot… Never give up – you have the rest of your life,  starting today,  to watch things get better.

But “better” isn’t a perfect upward trajectory.  It’s usually a  bumpy, a crazy journey from  “I can’t do this” to “I am doing it,  but I’m not sure how long I can stand it”.  Then,  finally,  as your persistence,  faith and patience  begins to pay off,  the storm begins to clear.  Then you can say “I have done it,  I will do it again if necessary,  and nothing is going to break me.”

So keep moving forward,  not with perfection or self flagellation for mistakes you’ve made (or think you’ve made).  Just keep swimming.  Move ahead.

Right around the corner is a new day,  a new dawn and a new beginning.  You can do it.  Just don’t give up.

by jimpalmer1

Right now I have compassion for all those who feel deep disappointment about their life. Maybe you find yourself in a place you never imagined you’d be. Maybe you’re thinking, “Why me?” “How did I get HERE?!” “What happened?” Maybe you feel you’ve disappointed others. Maybe it’s mainly that you’ve disappointed yourself. That’s a very painful place to be, I know. I’m sorry you are feeling this.

The human journey is not for the faint of heart. No one knows your story fully. No one knows fully what it’s like to be you. No one has ever or could ever walk in your shoes. No one has the right to judge. No one can see what’s inside you. You’re still standing, aren’t you? To me, that makes you a hero. And guess what? You have 100% of the rest of your life left.

Consider this Day One of the rest of your life. This is about who you are inside. The world needs people who go through hell and don’t give up. Right now there are people looking for someone just like you – someone who has felt all that pain and disappointment but is still putting one foot in front of the other. Look, we all ask the “Why me?” question, and can feel like we’ve made a mess of our lives. Welcome to the club called Being Human.

We ALL screw up. What we need are people who don’t give up.

That’s you.